englischer Text, Fehlersuche

    • LuckyAce
      LuckyAce
      Black
      Dabei seit: 28.05.2006 Beiträge: 349
      Hi zusammmen,

      da ja viele von euch sehr gut Englisch sprechen und schreiben, wollte ich euch mal kurz bitten diesen kleinen Text auf Fehler zu untersuchen, ich bin leider nicht so fit in Englisch.


      In June, 2007 there was an accident in the nuclear power station Krümmel near Hamburg. The nuclear power station had to be switched off after a fire. Then protests took place against nuclear power stations and their supposed dangerous use.
      The critics are of the view that the use of nuclear energy is too dangerous. So they demand the closing of the nuclear power stations and want the use of alternative energy.
      I can understand this opinion and am likewise for alternative energy, above all for renewable energy for example solar energy. Unfortunately, it is not able to do it economically yet to live from these energy sources. But these accidents show that we enter constantly a risk and we must stop this risk, before it is too late. But this can happen only if we pursue more research and improve the alternative energy sources.



      Danke
  • 4 Antworten
    • kingduff
      kingduff
      Bronze
      Dabei seit: 10.10.2006 Beiträge: 852
      Moin,

      erstens würde ich das ganze ein wenig umformulieren um es etwas flüssiger zu machen, irgendwie ist das noch ein bisschen holprig.

      Zu den Verbesserungsvorschlägen:
      - "The nuclear power station had to be switched off after a fire.":
      --> Würde ich umstellen in After a fire...
      --> ich würde shut down anstelle von switch off bevorzugen

      - "Then protests took place ..." --> This led to protests against nuclear energy because of the risks invoved.

      -"The critics" --> Das the muss raus

      - "are of the view" --> würde ich durch argue oder claim ersetzen

      - "and want the use " --> promote anstelle von "want"

      - "I can understand" --> ohne can

      - "for example solar energy" --> ...like solar..

      - "Unfortunately, it is not able to do it economically yet to live from these energy sources" --> das it is ist typisch deutsch. Hier ist es wohl am besten den Satz ganz umzubauen à la Unfortunately, the energy provided by salternative sources is not enough to rely solely on them

      - "But these accidents" --> Du schreibst ja nur üner einen Zwischenfall also Singular (z.B. this accident again shows...)

      - "that we enter constantly a risk and we must stop this risk" --> we permanetly bear a risk and we have to abandon nuclear energy before ...

      - "But this can happen only if we pursue more research and improve the alternative energy sources."
      --> Ich würde das but weglassen
      --> this can only happen if
      --> der Artikel vor alternative energy muss weg
    • YourRedeemer
      YourRedeemer
      Bronze
      Dabei seit: 04.06.2006 Beiträge: 1.384
      Original von LuckyAce
      Then protests took place against nuclear power stations and their supposed dangerous use.
      The critics are of the view that the use of nuclear energy is too dangerous.
      Der zweite Satz sagt das gleiche wie der Erste.


      I can understand this opinion and am likewise for alternative energy, above all for renewable energy for example solar energy.
      Ich glaube "i am for" gibt's nicht -> [...] am likewise in favor of alternative energy.



      But this can happen only if we pursue more research and improve the alternative energy sources.
      Ich würde noch hinzufügen [...] improve the efficiency of altenative energy sources...
    • LuckyAce
      LuckyAce
      Black
      Dabei seit: 28.05.2006 Beiträge: 349
      Thx, mal gucken ob ich das so alles richtig verstanden habe:

      In June, 2007 there was an accident in the nuclear power station Krümmel near Hamburg. After a fire the nuclear power station had to be shut down.
      This led to protests against nuclear energy because of the risks involved.

      Critics claim that the use of nuclear energy is too dangerous. So they demand the closing of the nuclear power stations and promote the use of alternative energy.

      I understand this opinion and am likewise in favor of alternative energy, above all for renewable energy like solar energy. Unfortunately, the energy provided by alternative sources is not enough to rely solely on them.
      This accident again shows that we permanently bear a risk and we have to abandon nuclear energy before it is too late. This can only happen if we pursue more research and improve the efficiency of alternative energy sources.
    • doubleJay
      doubleJay
      Black
      Dabei seit: 09.10.2006 Beiträge: 6.234
      Allgemeiner Tip:
      Haupt- und Nebensätze öfter mit ansprechenden Kon-/Subjunktionen zu verbinden macht einen besseren Eindruck als diese häufigen Reihungen von Hauptsätzen.