Feedback zu einer Analyse of Speech

    • aven
      aven
      Bronze
      Dabei seit: 11.01.2007 Beiträge: 547
      Hey,

      Ich schreibe morgen meine letzte Englischklausur in diesem Jahr/(Leben?). Da mir nichts eingefallen ist, was ich lernen könnte und das Thema Speeches sind habe ich mir einfach mal eine von Luther King rausgesucht und mal was zu geschrieben.

      Vielleicht hat ja jmd. Lust ein Feedback zu geben oder noch Tipps (zu kurz/oberflächlich etc.?), wenn nicht #care 4 me :) Thnx.

      die eigentliche Rede:
      Thank you very kindly, my friends. As I listened to Ralph Abernathy and his eloquent and generous introduction and then thought about myself, I wondered who he was talking about. It's always good to have your closest friend and associate to say something good about you. And Ralph Abernathy is the best friend that I have in the world. I'm delighted to see each of you here tonight in spite of a storm warning. You reveal that you are determined to go on anyhow.

      Something is happening in Memphis; something is happening in our world. And you know, if I were standing at the beginning of time, with the possibility of taking a kind of general and panoramic view of the whole of human history up to now, and the Almighty said to me, "Martin Luther King, which age would you like to live in?" I would take my mental flight by Egypt and I would watch God's children in their magnificent trek from the dark dungeons of Egypt through, or rather across the Red Sea, through the wilderness on toward the promised land. And in spite of its magnificence, I wouldn't stop there.
      I would move on by Greece and take my mind to Mount Olympus. And I would see Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, Euripides and Aristophanes assembled around the Parthenon. And I would watch them around the Parthenon as they discussed the great and eternal issues of reality. But I wouldn't stop there.

      I would go on, even to the great heyday of the Roman Empire. And I would see developments around there, through various emperors and leaders. But I wouldn't stop there.
      I would even come up to the day of the Renaissance, and get a quick picture of all that the Renaissance did for the cultural and aesthetic life of man. But I wouldn't stop there.
      I would even go by the way that the man for whom I am named had his habitat. And I would watch Martin Luther as he tacked his ninety-five theses on the door at the church of Wittenberg. But I wouldn't stop there.
      I would come on up even to 1863, and watch a vacillating President by the name of Abraham Lincoln finally come to the conclusion that he had to sign the Emancipation Proclamation. But I wouldn't stop there.

      I would even come up to the early thirties, and see a man grappling with the problems of the bankruptcy of his nation. And come with an eloquent cry that we have nothing to fear but "fear itself." But I wouldn't stop there.
      Strangely enough, I would turn to the Almighty, and say, "If you allow me to live just a few years in the second half of the 20th century, I will be happy."

      Meine Analyse auf Stilmittel:

      Martin Luther King tries in his speech to distinguish the dynamic of the 20th century in America. He emphasizes his major point with a lot of rethorical devices.

      In the first line, he directly addresses the audience with the phrase "Thank you very kindly, my friends“ to get the attention of the listeners and set the tone of the speech, which should be a friendly and loyal tone.

      The repetition "Something is happening in Memphis, something is happening in our world“ creates tension and underlines importance of the speech.

      The personification of "the Almighty“ when Luther is fictional asked by him stresses this aspect.
      The allusions to the highculture civilsations and important historical events in the movement of freedom an liberation like the "Egypt“, the "Greece“, "the Roman Empire“, "the Renaissance“, "the Reformation“, the creation of the "Emancipation Proclamtion“ and the financial crises in the "early thirties“ create a certain rythmen and subsequent development to the chief aspect of the speech.

      The anaphoras "I would move on“, "I would go on“, "I would come on“ stress Luther’s intentions and the epiphora "but I wouldn't stop there“ creates more tension and passion by delaying the mainpoint to the further end.

      The repetition of the phrase "I would“ followed by the new verb "turn“, which is a antithesis to the former wordfield of going, supportes the tension, which was created in the beginning.
      The last answer of Luther to god in his speach "If you allow me to live just a few years in the second half of the 20th century, I will be happy“ contents the major aspect of his wohle speech. The last phrase "I will be happy“ creates in contrast to the other answers no tension, it is more a humoristic phrase. The tension of the speech releases with the euphimsen of "just a few years“ and the contrast of the simple wish "to live […] in the second half of the 20th century“ in order to the former allusions of highculture civilsations and historical events.
  • 7 Antworten
    • edelgrieche
      edelgrieche
      Bronze
      Dabei seit: 23.06.2006 Beiträge: 1.682
      gefällt mir sehr gut!

      aber schreib bitte United States of America statt "America"
    • Insomnia88
      Insomnia88
      Bronze
      Dabei seit: 09.01.2007 Beiträge: 79
      Ich schwörs dir man halt deine verschissene drecksfresse. Wir können uns gern mal treffen dann hau ich sie dir ein du beschissener NERD.

      Nee, is ganz gut. Ein paar Rechtschreibfehler, but wayne?
      gl morgen
    • birdlives
      birdlives
      Bronze
      Dabei seit: 27.02.2007 Beiträge: 6.908
      Captatio benevolentiae am Anfang.
    • aven
      aven
      Bronze
      Dabei seit: 11.01.2007 Beiträge: 547
      Original von birdlives
      Captatio benevolentiae am Anfang.
      Latein? ^^ oder heißt das im Englischen auch so?
    • monarco
      monarco
      Bronze
      Dabei seit: 16.09.2007 Beiträge: 2.148
      Original von aven
      Meine Analyse auf Stilmittel:

      Martin Luther King tries to distinguish in his speech the dynamic of the 20th century in America. He emphasizes his major point with a lot of rethorical devices.

      In the first line, he directly addresses the audience with the phrase "Thank you very kindly, my friends“ to get the attention of the listeners and set the tone of the speech, which should be a friendly and loyal tone.

      The repetition "Something is happening in Memphis, something is happening in our world“ creates tension and underlines the importance of the speech.

      The personification of "the Almighty“ when King is fictionally asked by him stresses this aspect.
      The allusions to the highculture civilsations and important historical events in the movement of freedom an liberation like the jews' march out of Egypt, the greek philosophers, the Roman Empire, the Renaissance, the Reformation, the creation of the Emancipation Proclamation and the financial crisis in the early thirties creates a certain rythm and subsequent development to the major aspect of the speech.

      The anaphoras (?) "I would move on“, "I would go on“, "I would come on“ stress King’s intentions and the epiphora "but I wouldn't stop there“ creates more tension and passion by delaying the main point to the end.

      The repetition of the phrase "I would“, followed by the new verb "turn“, which is a antithesis to the former wordfield of going, supports the tension which was created in the beginning.
      The last answer of King to god, "If you allow me to live just a few years in the second half of the 20th century, I will be happy“ contains the major aspect of his whole speech. The last phrase "I will be happy“ creates, in contrast to the other answers, no tension, it is more a humoristic phrase. The tension of the speech releases with the euphemism of "just a few years“ and the contrast of the simple wish "to live […] in the second half of the 20th century“ to the former allusions to highculture civilsations and historical events.
      Ziemlich gut, vor allem sprachlich. Inhaltlich hab ichs mir nicht genau angeschaut, aber was eindeutig fehlt ist eine Analyse oder wenigstens Erwähnung der vielen Metaphern und der bildreichen Sprache.
      Viel Erfolg morgen! (10 Punkte werdens schon^^)
    • birdlives
      birdlives
      Bronze
      Dabei seit: 27.02.2007 Beiträge: 6.908
      Original von aven
      Original von birdlives
      Captatio benevolentiae am Anfang.
      Latein? ^^ oder heißt das im Englischen auch so?
      Latein ist international.Ist halt n schöner Ausdruck und definitiv nicht falsch.
      Für mehr ist schon zu sehr Wochenende.
      Hatte meine letzte Klausur heute (für dieses Semester).
    • aven
      aven
      Bronze
      Dabei seit: 11.01.2007 Beiträge: 547
      Original von monarco
      Ziemlich gut, vor allem sprachlich. Inhaltlich hab ichs mir nicht genau angeschaut, aber was eindeutig fehlt ist eine Analyse oder wenigstens Erwähnung der vielen Metaphern und der bildreichen Sprache.
      Viel Erfolg morgen! (10 Punkte werdens schon^^)
      jo danke, ging heute eigentlich sehr gut von der hand. ne rede von bush, kaum bildiche sprache, gute stilmittel glaube ich gefunden, läuft ;)

      danke für das feedback