Dürfte ganz interessant für einige hier sein:

I don’t know. I’ve met heaps of people in passing that i’m sure i’d be good friends with if i knew them for longer periods of time. A lot of poker players are kind of boring when you just see them for a short period of time, since you don’t really get to go past the dinner date stage of eating at nobu and talking about superficial travel experiences; which is fun, but it makes people all seem very similar, since you don’t have this ‘history of experiences’ with people, it’s hard to really feel like you’re good friends. Still, i like most the players i meet a lot and have had almost entirely good experiences with them, so w/e.


It’s funny that the reason I was able to get good at poker, being extremely driven to get good for the sake of being good, not for the sake of financial gains (which were always seen as second), has finally come back to haunt me. Eventually, since poker is played over the internet, you find people who are actually better at you than the game. Then you burn out against them. It’s so hard to come to terms with the fact that maybe you just can’t reach that top level of play. To remind yourself that you were maybe close, you play people who are very good and hope to beat them; because “anyone can beat donks, but only a ‘good’ player can beat other good players”.

This is just such a harsh reality to accept for me, and even thinking about it makes me so sick. The idea of playing poker in the current environment, bum hunting (which i’ve done a bit lately), grinding 12 tables of lower stakes, god it all just makes me want to actually kill myself. Give me a 50k downswing after playing a 4000 hand hu session against Alcohol4Life any day of the week and i’ll rise the next day a better player for it; i’ll actually be kind of happy, like ‘OK WELL HE F4CKED YOU UP BUT NOW WE CAN ENGAGE HYPER FOCUS MODE; ROUND 2 FIGHT!!!’.


The way i see life is basically:

You need to have some way of creating wealth so you can provide for your basic needs. If you do some kind of regular exercise you will be much happier. I personally also need one or two different hobbies that I am approaching a moderate-high level of aptitude at so that I can use these hobbies as a framework to explore my changing self. EG if you are happy, you can explore your happiness through music and garner a richer experience than if you just watched a movie while happy. You could do the same thing playing tennis or poker or writing or doing pure math or physics or whatever. In my experience, it’s kind of important to be reasonably good at these things; if you have to think about how to mix paint while you’re trying to paint something that expresses your anger, you are probably going to miss out. To get that technical proficiency at the activity, you have to ‘invest’ time into it. It is kind of like working. And then when you actually do the activity, that is like spending money. EG practicing your serve is like playing donks; playing a tennis tournament is like spending the money you made off donks at nobu.

on retirement:

Something i’ve realised is that a lot of poker players basically feel like their life is on hold while they’re playing poker. This is quite different to people who are working in a job. When you feel like your life is on hold from poker, your life is literally in cryostasis; you play every day, after sessions you feel way too burnt out to do anything more than watch tv, watch porn, get stoned, or get drunk. most your non-poker time is spent surfing the internet or doing activities that might be loosely related to poker, like chatting to poker players on aim or reading on 2+2.

It’s really hard to get motivated to do anything after a poker session. My personal method is that if i want to do ANYTHING in a day, i have to do it before i play a session; if i feel like i am not completely happy with doing absolutely nothing of value after a session, i will not play.

If you experience poker differently than what i have described, what i will say next won’t make a whole lot of sense. Basically, in my view, if you have enough money to get on with living a more purposeful life, and your life is currently in ‘cryostasis’, you are insane to waste any more of your life in the scenario i describe above. People seem to think that they’re ‘investing a year now, to win 2 years later’ but you will get to live those two years later regardless. So then the next argument is that you will be happier in those two years if you have more money; although this is kind of true, you will be happier in those two years if you invest time into personally fulfilling pursuits that don’t cost money. a personal example would be, by practicing piano now, i am making money; when i am old, i will be able to play piano and be happier. so i’m investing my time in my future in exactly the same way, but practicing piano is more fun than grinding.

and in closing:

But to be honest, in my own, the biggest ‘real’ regret i’ve had, would be more like ‘i should have ordered another order of kobe; you never have enough kobe’.